Things I’m Afraid to Tell You

By Tuesday, May 15, 2012 5 Permalink

Things I'm Afraid to Tell You

I first found out about Jess’s Things I’m Afraid To Tell You post (and #2 and #3) that inspired Ez to ask others to join after reading Erin’s post. After that I spent a majority of my day falling in mutual-respect-love with many bloggers, as always because I love honesty and ugly human emotions. Having a few things that were eating away at me I decided to share some of my “Things I’m Afraid to Tell You,” and maybe you’ll be inspired to share some of your own.

One: I’m waiting to see if I got into SCAD (the school of my dreams) for grad school but I don’t have a concrete idea of what I will do if I don’t get in. It’s certainly a possibility and I’d be incredibly disappointed. Then I’d have to figure out my next step, which is something I don’t want to think about. Especially because I don’t see myself living in Washington anymore. But that bridge will be burned when the letter comes. I truly believe that going to SCAD for grad school would be the best thing for me, personally and professionally. Let’s just say that I have stalked this school for more than a couple of years and it’s exactly what I want.

Two: On the other hand what will I do if I do get in? I’m almost as scared about getting my acceptance letter as I am about getting a rejection letter. I love my home life (life with Dan) but he’s not coming with me so that’s going to really suck (understatement). I’m worrying about things I can’t do anything about yet. How will I pay for everything or even get by? How can I keep up Style & Cheek if I need to work two jobs and go to school? What if I hate Savannah but like the school? What if I hate the school but like Savannah? What if what if what if?

Three: I wish I could devote more time to the blog. But I have a full-time job and another part-time job and there’s just not enough time for everything. I don’t think it’s too much, but sometimes I would rather be doing the blog thing than anything else. To the point where it annoys Dan because I just want to work all the time – even if it’s midnight and my eyes are drying up or it’s the weekend and haven’t liked the first twenty pictures he took of my hair/outfit/etc.

Four: Emotionally I feel like it’s really difficult for me to connect with people. The idea of going to blog meetups scares the crap out of me. I haven’t been to one yet but the idea gives me anxiety. I have a really sick sense of humor but a lot of time people just don’t get me (even my best friend Simon doesn’t think I’m funny – probably because I won’t make him sandwiches). I want to go out and be myself and still connect with people but then I freak out and think – shit, what do I say?

Five: I don’t have a lot of clothes. If you saw me at work you wouldn’t think I have a style blog. But I do. I cannot afford the things I want and at work I wear what’s most comfortable to stay under the radar. I can see the judgment in people’s eyes when I talk to them about my blog and half the time it wears on me and other times I smile inside. It’s part of what drives me, the realization that one day I will be a successful something-something and it will be from my own doing.

Six: I’m insanely protective of my love life. There are a few irrational reasons why people would like to see Dan and I break up, but it’s not going to happen. We’re constantly met with mild contempt because our relationship is only seen at a distance. Multiple people have tried to tear us apart and even more people have voiced their negative opinions. All this resistance has given me a massive chip on my shoulder. But screw it. We’re disgustingly honest with each other and I cherish it. Haters gonna hate. We make our own decisions and we choose to stay together.

I got my “secrets” out there now it’s your turn. What would you like to say that you usually wouldn’t? Leave a comment with a link to your “Things I’m Afraid to Tell You.” I’d love to read it.

Here is a list of the many wonderful bloggers that are opening up:

Cassie: Coco + Kelley / Christine: Court & Hudson / Roxy: My Cup of Te / Erin: Apartment 34 / Crystal: Blog / Meg: MIMI+MEG / Ashlina: The Decorista / Katie: Modern Eve / Erica: Design Blahg / Victoria: Vmac & Cheese / Christine: Miles to Style / Franki: Life in a Venti Cup  / Sue: The Zhush / Erika: Radiant Republic / Gabrielle: Savvy Home / Monika: The Doctor’s Closet / Naomi: Design Manifest /Tobe: Because It’s Awesome / Becca: {extra}ordinary wonders / Lynzy: Sparkling Footsteps / Hitha: Hitha On The Go / Sarah: Note To Self / Liz: So Much To Smile About / Sarah: Blogstar / Alissa: The Goods Design / Jessie: Style & Pepper / Erika: Small Shop Studio  / AV: Long Distance Loving / Maggie: Maggie Rose Blog / Nicole: The City Girl In Me / Priscilla: The Best Laid Plans / Jen: Concrete Jungle DC / Janelle: Food Fashion Fitness / Natalie: East Coast Chic
Here are the bloggers that participated in Ez’s Wave No. 1 of Things I’m Afraid To Tell You:Design for Mankind | Little Brown Pen now Obvious State | Beautiful Hello | Curating Style | Sweet Fine Day | The Jealous Curator | Happy Days | Sage & Berries | Really Handmade | Peck Life | Satsuma Press | Rena Tom | For the Easily Distracted | The Hemborg Wife | Vitamini Handmade | Courtney Khail Stationery and Design | Meg in Progress | Dando Photography Blog now Dando Photography | Widdershins22 | Alison Citron | Pink Moon Daily | Just Pretty Things | From China Village | Tea with Me | The Darling Ewe | Not Your Average Ordinary | The Electric Typewriter | Elleby Design | Parsimonia {Secondhand With Style} | Life as an Artistpreneur | Hello Cupcake | Dellie | The A & B Stories | Pretty Little Things | Feistyelle | Nib & Zed | Well and Cheaply | I Ripple. I Dance. | Whitfield Awesome Blog | Dry As Toast | The List of Now | Apple Blue | For the Love of | Four Flights of Fancy | Miss Modish | Snapshots & Secrets | Dirty Laundry | Bubby & Bean | Little Nostalgia | Vale Design | Pikaland | Fleurishing | Print Pretty | Vespa Tales | Hazel & Agnes | Amanda’s Musings | Mo’ Funk Designs | Ordinary Mommy | Camp 1899 | In Honor of Design | Liberty’s Yarn | Stacey Winters | Owl in the Rain | Living Life Creatively | Emma Elizabeth Clease | I Live in Vacouver Now | British Cream Tea
  • Simon

    I said you’re not as funny as me. You are funny though. You’ll get into the school so don’t worry and you’ll love it. Things work out :)

    • Oh Simon :) thanks. Look at you reading my blog like the bestest friend.

  • geiurhg

    Why would you want to stay under the radar? You don’t have to look too over the top but surely you would want to look good and look like you have a style… Wearing jeans and a t-shirt isn’t being stylish… It’s being boring, and never would get you in a street style blog. Even if this isn’t your goal but considering you want to be taken seriously in the fashion world, you would ALWAYS at ALL TIMES want to look like you want to be part of this world.And look amazing while doing do.

    • Standing out when you work with a bunch of software developers is pointless and awkward. Ever seen the first episode of Mad Men when Peggy is in the elevator? My style at work and my style outside of work are not the same.

      • geiurhg

        It’s never pointless to look good. And it’s only awkward is you’re not confident enough.