Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes

By Thursday, July 7, 2016 13 Permalink

Coffee cup Annie Spratt | Unsplash

You may have noticed that I haven’t been posting as much in the past couple weeks. I don’t know what exactly is going on with me because I rarely, if ever, miss multiple days of posts. Granted we had a holiday so if I were to take a vacation from blogging, now is the time. But this hasn’t been an intentional break from blogging. I hit a wall.

And yet, this year has been my most successful year blogging yet. I’m getting more opportunities than ever to work with brands and partners, grow my readership, and do cool stuff but my site continues to have problems. I should be happy but my traffic is down and I feel like I’m treading water with social media. This all adds up to a whole lot of feeling blah. For every step forward, I seem to take two steps back.

Flowers Annie Spratt | Unsplash 1

It doesn’t help that I’m often broke and that I’m stressed about being stressed. I’m pursuing my dreams, am I allowed to complain? Most people don’t get this chance. So I struggle with feeling guilty for not feeling happier about my lucky situation but honestly I am overwhelmed/scared/stuck/confused/down about life right now. I just don’t know where to take Style and Cheek at this point and I’m scared that my determination to make this blog life work is waning. I’m scared that this chugging little-engine-that-could is going to break the fuck down.

But it’s not all doom and gloom. Things are changing on the blog, which is scary but also exciting. Jamie and I are no longer continuing our ‘How She’d Wear It‘ and ‘Beauty Basics‘ collaboration. I know, I know. It is an end of an era! We’re both sad but at the same time it felt necessary. My heart was no longer in the ‘How She’d Wear It’ posts and I knew it was time to stop. I’m more sad about losing Jamie as my beauty contributor. It’s been a joy working with Jamie. Her knowledge is priceless and I love her beauty posts. But we’re embarking on a new collaboration that we’re really excited about! We haven’t confirmed the details but I’m happy that we’re continuing our collaboration in a new way.

Hydrangeas Annie Spratt | Unsplash

So yeah, I’m excited about future collaborations and opportunities but I’m still somehow in a slump and don’t know what to do about it. Everything is up in the air. I need direction. I need small goals. I need help. But mostly I need to realize that this is par for the course when you’re your own boss. It sucks being out there on my own when the future is so murky. It feels a lot like failure, which is absolutely terrifying.

How do I fix my mostly irrational mood, and come back around to feeling positive about the blog? Dan says I need patience, that all this is part of being your own boss and running your own business, and that eventually I will figure out what I want. All I have to do is not give up just because it sucks right now. I’m not sure I buy that it is that simple (Dan and I are very different when it comes to dealing with stress) but I’m definitely not giving up. Not giving up though, doesn’t improve my mood. So in the mean time, while I churn through this blah and hopefully come out guns-blazing on the other side, I’m going to rely on my creature comforts to pick me up. Food, hanging out with friends, and as much Girl Meets World as a human being can handle.

Riley and Maya Stop It Girl Meets World

stock images via: Annie Spratt | Unsplash 

  • Oh Julia… I can only imagine how hard it was to write this post. I totally know how you feel to hit a wall. I feel like I go through the same feelings every 6 months or so when I ask myself, “Do I really want to keep going? What should I do next? Am I growing as quickly or on the same pace as everyone else around me?” It can be tough, but it doesn’t have to be! Always here for you to chat with, if you need someone <3

    • Your comment made me tear up. And thank you for offering your ear. All of us bloggers go through similar experiences like this and it’s nice to have people who understand exactly what you’re going through. One day I may take you up on that chat offer.

  • ah i totally feel ya and am right there with ya! I seriously hit walls all the time. This journey is rewarding, scary, exciting and frustrating all at the same time. But it will be worth it and you got this! We got this, don’t forget your tribe, we’re here for you! You go girl! #GirlBoss #StyleBoss in the house.

    • Aw Lisa your comment is so positive and upbeat, I love it! :) Thank you for being my cheerleader. We’re all cheerleaders for each other and I’m so glad we have our tribe. (Thank you #StyleBoss!) :)

  • You’re not alone! I feel like so many bloggers and going through a sort of summer slump and not posting as often (including me). I started my blog with a friend and she’s currently on hiatus…I’ve been powering through by myself for months, but it’s really tough to stay motivated. Of course I’m not a full-time blogger so it’s a little different…but I totally know what it’s like to hit a wall!

    • Good for you for powering through, Amelia! I’m only losing a collaborator who does one post a week! I can imagine how much pressure you feel doing it by yourself but I’m glad you’re doing it. You make a good point about summer, I’ve never thought about putting less pressure on myself because it is summer and people are doing other things but it sounds like I need to not worry as much about missing a day or two here and there. Maaybe. Thank you for your comment.

      • Well, I could only power through for so long before I felt like I was losing my mind ;) I decided to let myself off the hook from my super strict posting schedule for awhile and it’s felt pretty good. Just do what you gotta do – that’s the great thing about being in charge, right? You can make up your own rules :)

        • Exactly! No one is forcing you to continue when you don’t have it in you. It’s good to let yourself off the hook because losing your mind will not = good posts!

  • I know we have talked about this before and you know that there are a lot of times I am just not into it and sometimes never into it. I hate feeling forced to put out content I hate because then I just hate myself and I’m all gloomy and depressed over it. The cycle is a tough bitch. It’s that vicious cycle that once things start feeling good they are bound to come down again for a bit to make it all come into perspective. At least that’s what I tell myself. I wish we were nearby because I’d totally take you up on food and Girl Meets World. I can do ALLLL the food right now!

    • Yess Jamie, thank you, I hate putting out content I hate because then it makes me feel bad and whenever I see it I cringe! We should be putting out content we are proud of and want to share with others! Occasionally I pull tarot cards to see how I feel and I got the Wheel of Fortune (when things were going good) and I was like ah shit here we go, it’s time for things to be bad for awhile. But I wasn’t prepared to put things into perspective ya know? Hence food and Girl Meets World which I wish you were around for, for sure! Girl nights with snacks and Netflix.

  • I’m still new enough to have not hit the wall yet (it’s more of the hill of getting started), but I wish you the best with your slump. I’m happy to listen.

    • Thank you Casey. It took me four 1/2 years to hit a wall so you probably have nothing to worry about for a long time. Even though I am in a weird place with blogging I still love doing it so I’ll just chug along until I figure it out.