It’s time for Pretty Little Liars to serve up a black & white episode, a la X-Files, a la Buffy the Vampire Slayer, a la all the Hitchcock movies that PLL wants to emulate. I’m watching sober this week so this recap will probably be a lot less random but who the heck knows, I basically write these as if I’m live tweeting my thoughts about the episode. There is no narrative here so let’s see where this takes us.
The girls, sans Aria, are rummaging through Ezra’s desk when Spencer finds Alison’s journal! That was waaaaaaaaaaay too easy, I smell a plant. They spy Mona steeling papers from Ezra’s classroom. Per usual Mona looks insane. Not in a good way. Emily suggests that maybe they did find the journal too easily. Hanna and Spencer don’t want to hear it though, because “It’s all about the A-ness” of things.” The writers of this show give Hanna all the best intentional “unintentional” puns.
Spencer is losing her mind from all that pill-induced insomnia and now she has a cold. The episode is not yet in black & white which means there is no doubt that this episode is going inside this crackhead’s brain. Annnnnnd we’re off! Gun shots in the b&w movie Spencer is watching cue the flip to 1940s film noir style PLL. EmoToby emerges from the shadows dressed as Humphrey Bogart and I’m ready to call it quits on this episode.
Even the Brew is in ridiculous black & white, serving 15 cent coffee and Ezra complete in gangster style 3 piece suit and fedora. He apologizes to Spencer for getting in her face last episode. She apologizes for being a psycho. Ezra sorta asks Spencer out on a date. But ok this episode is absurd. These costumes are on point and the lighting is good. It’s great looking but there is something really painful about watching this chick from Spring Breakers trying to talk like Audrey Hepburn.
Spencer can’t keep off the pills and hey look it’s EmoToby again, looking for any excuse to be annoying. A giant painting of Alison is hanging in Spencer’s house. EmoToby makes some semi-sexual remark and Spencer almost lets it slip that Alison really is alive. But overall Spencer seems a little more stable now that they have the journal back. Though in Spencer dream land everybody wants everyone else’s junk.
Hanna, out stalking Ezra catches a glimpse of Mona and Ezra chillin. Mona is rocking a huge fur coat as Hanna follows her. Mona turns the tables on Hanna and kidnaps her, bringing her to Ezra’s. Ok we are very clearly in la-la land. None of this happening. Damn it, if there was an episode where somebody was gonna pop EmoToby it would have been this one.
One of the phone numbers on the paper that was with Alison’s money is to the Fitzgerald Art Foundation. As in Ezra Fitzgerald. Blah blah blah. Hanna works at the switchboard so it will be up to her to find out more. Sweet plan.
Gangster Ezra is hilarious and he’s trying to turn EmoToby against Spencer. Ezra tells EmoToby that Alison is alive. EmoToby apparently is a cop and he drags Spencer down-town to interrogate her about Alison and A. This black and white does not do any favors for EmoToby’s brooding forehead.
“I always thought champagne was the most sophisticated thing in the world.”
“Well it isn’t…. you are.”
1940s Ezra is sooo smooth.
Emily and her girlfriend have the most boring tv relationship I’ve ever seen. They have a bunch of scenes this episode. And hey it’s the 1940s so girl on girl romance is frowned upon. Let’s make that their whole plot this episode.
Aria admits to Spencer that she’s been seeing Ezra, which supposedly is sexy and dangerous and wonderful like a story. But now Aria is feeling some creep vibes from gangsta Ezra. Hanna has found Alison who is working as a burlesque dancer. Spencer calls Alison out on her bullshit as a gun goes off and the girls start running. Well, trotting, they’re in heels.
Ezra calls out to Aria, promising to keep her safe. Aria starts walking towards a shadowy figure that turns out to be EmoToby. They speed off in his car. Apparently he knocked Ezra out. Aria is confused, per usual. EmoToby tells Spencer to not look at the book but to look at the pages. Headlights scream by as we are thankfully pulled back into color and the real world. Turns out Alison’s journal has had a bunch of little details changed to throw the girls off the scent. Spencer, Emily, and Hanna run off to clue Aria in and arrive at her house just in time to see her kissing Ezra.
Love, Dan
