Pretty Little Liars S5 Episode 4 Thrown From the Ride

By Thursday, July 3, 2014 0 Permalink

This week on Pretty Little Liars the blonde one that nobody likes but they all still suck up to tries to take over Sunnydale. Or something like that. So says the 20 word episode summary on Comcast. These summaries are SO not useful, which sucks because the only thing I remember from last week’s episode is Spencer and her half-brother and their burning hot sexual chemistry. Yo ABC Family, step your casting game up – these two should not clearly be wanting to jump each other if they’re supposed to be related… Oh and Mr. Hastings may or may not be a creep. Onto Episode 4!

Hanna and Aria find Shana's copy of the Scarlet letter | Pretty Little Liars Thrown From the Ride

I think ABC Family is cramming these Transformer’s previews down our throats because they assume that girls are forcing their boyfriends to watch this show. If you were a teenage guy would you need advertising to know that the new Transformer’s movie will be perfect mindless explosive fun? I really don’t need to hear Kelsey Grammer ask “Where is Optimus Prime?” 7 times per episode of Pretty Little Liars. ANYWAY. Hanna cut her hair, Aria is wearing a STUPID hat like she’s in NKOTB. They find Shana’s copy of the Scarlet Letter. P.S. the book version sucks, no creeper maid watching Demi Moore bathe.

Alison's Dad seems like a really nice guy | Pretty Little Liars Thrown From the Ride

Alison’s dad calls her “Al” and he has waffles. Give me waffles :(  He thinks Alison is rushing back into her old life too fast. The guy seems like a pretty decent person. He wants to move, but Alison desperately, annoyingly, can’t have her friends taken away from her too. She also reeeeeeeeeeeeally doesn’t want to go to the cops for a medical exam. Papa fears the worst. Which makes Alison crave a sandwich. Fake repressed memories make me hungry too. Fucking dinosaur attacks.

Everyone in the school seems to care about what the liars are up to | Pretty Little Liars Thrown From the Ride

Boo hoo the Hastings Family had their back yard trashed by the polizei. Meanwhile Mona is dealing with some dissent amongst her slaves, one of whom is starting to feel bad for Ali. The liars discuss Mona and Ali’s dead ma while half the school walks past their lunch table. Aria is losing her shit about killing Shana.

Cute glasses guy is hot | Pretty Little Liars Thrown From the Ride

“Cute glasses guy” piques Julia’s interest – he’s back and wondering how high Spencer is at the moment. Sadly glasses-dude, she is not high, but she will hang out with you tomorrow! Score.

Aria is freaking out man | Pretty Little Liars Thrown From the Ride

Aria and her stupid, stupid, stupid hat are emo’ing out in the computer lab when she gets an IM from “Theatregirl” who is basically the equivalent of the doctor on Family Guy. Aria’s hat makes her look like Boy George. She has a vision of Shana rising from her coffin at her own funeral. Sweet! Vampires and/or zombies are exactly what this show needs.

Uh oh, rat poison at the Hasting's house | Pretty Little Liars Thrown From the Ride

SUCKS for you glasses-dude Spencer tricked you into doing yardwork. In between bouts of flirting Spencer and Andrew knock over a container of rat poison. Papa Spence poisoning peeps?

Alison gets a physical exam and freaks out | Pretty Little Liars Thrown From the Ride

Alison’s doctor compliments her powerful lungs while Hanna looks on. Meanwhile Spencer asks Emily if she still wants to jump Ali. Emily is not sure, flirting with Anne Hathaway and Paige is obviously still on her brain. Alison’s doc discovers a nasty gash on her thigh that looks like it was from a knife slash. Alison freaks out trying to explain it. Hmmmm Oh haaaaaaaaaai Alison recorded all of her lies she spouted during her exam on a tape so the other Liars can listen to it and practice their BS.

Mama Spence protecting her family | Pretty Little Liars Thrown From the Ride

Mama Spence thinks that her hubby may have murdered Alison’s mom. Why? Because Mrs. D thought that it was Spencer who killed the still-unknown chick was buried in Alison’s grave. Yeah why does nobody seem to care who the Jane Doe is?

Aria wants to be forgiven, Ezra wants to play checkers | Pretty Little Liars Thrown From the Ride

Aria is a freak – watching funeral videos on repeat. Fun times. She’s goes to Ezra for some advice on how to stop being insane. He does not have much to say. Aria calls the church that held Shana’s service and attempts to make an anonymous cash donation over the phone. Meanwhile Spencer is relieved to hear that Alison’s mom was not killed by rat poison. Spencer’s relieved face looks a lot like her sad face.

Most Hastings family drama | Pretty Little Liars Thrown From the Ride

Hanna apparently used to be a klepto and shoplifts an ugly red velvety crop top. Spencer calls her mid-theft wondering whats up with Alison’s weird homework she’s giving them. Hanna spazzes. Spencer spazzes and cuts herself. As she goes to the cabinet to look for a bandaid she finds a bottle of pills in her dad’s name – the same type of pills that were used to kill Mrs. D. Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.