One more week until the PLL Summer Finale and until I know for certain ABC Family is not killing off Alison for real, there is hope that they will! Alison is like that mouth-breathing man sitting next to you on a plane, and by sitting next to you I mean partially sitting on you. You’ve got the window seat which is nice because you can see the landscape below, but he’s taking up all the oxygen, and you’re so uncomfortable that you’re freaking out. You close your eyes and pretend he’s not there but the man’s presence is smothering, even when you can’t see him. That’s Alison.
The girls, including Spencer still in her SS uni, are on their way to the police station to rat out Ali when they receive a not so subtle message from A. Spencer picks up a brick to smash all 37 tvs showing Alison visiting Hanna in the hospital during Ali’s “death”. The video sorta would prove that the girls knew that Alison was alive all along. “Act normal bitches” A says. Spencer and Emily decompress at the Brew and consider if maybe it was Alison who just sent them that message, pretending to be A.
Emily goes to visit Ezra to discuss Alison’s connection to the since abducted by aliens Cyrus Petrillo. Heinous name. Truly awful. Ezra is on the Cyrus case and he appreciates Emily actually trusting him enough to ask for help. This relationship will work out great for both of them. Emily is not into dudes so Ezra has no chance of sleeping with her. And since Ezra is not a chick, Emily won’t be a googly eyed moron anytime they make eye contact.
Hanna is super worried about Caleb’s transition into EmoCaleb. Emily and Paige have a boring heart to heart. What if A is Alison? Spencer decides that EmoToby is the best person to talk to Caleb about his 10 day addiction to alcohol. Spencer finds a cryptic note from Melissa, who has fled to Mordor at the behest of Papa Hastings.
Roma Maffia (I have no idea what her character’s name is) sneak attacks Emily, Hanna, and Aria to ask them who they think killed Bethany Young. Of course Hanna believes this means Roma suspects the Liars. Meanwhile we are once again treated to Spencer and EmoToby snogging. Spencer is developing a butt chin of similar proportion to her man’s. They’re making out so much his chin is leaving a permanent impression on hers. EmoToby believes Caleb isn’t addicted, he’s haunted by Ravenswood… (being cancelled)
Spencer receives Melissa’s video in the mail, and she settles down to watch it on her laptop. Melissa admits to following Spencer the night Alison disappeared, and thinking that Spencer killed Alison when she found the body of some blonde girl. Turns out Melissa buried Bethany Young alive in an effort to protect Spencer. Melissa cries on the video. Spencer is in shock and spends the next 10 minutes of the episode freaking. Melissa killed Bethany.
Caleb’s intervention starts off great with EmoToby immediately asking him, “so Hanna says you aren’t you sleeping, whats up with that?” EmoToby ain’t got no game. Caleb calls him Oprah. And not in a good way. The boys go off to go talk alone but too bad EmoToby don’t know Ravenswood the way that EmoCaleb knows Ravenswood. EC wants to whoops ET’s ass. This is the lamest conversation in history. So much emotion, so little acting. EmoCaleb gets up and walks away.
Aria and her fam meet up to watch an old school movie. Aria is wearing pumps with frilly white socks. She is appalled to see that her mom cancelled movie night and Mona is there instead. Clutching ‘Mikey’s’ arm. Throughout the very weird movie Mona is all over Mike. Oh and Paige is there on a date with some blonde but who cares? Aria whispers something in Mona’s ear and Mona peaces out. Mikey gets worried.
Roma Maffia goes to visit Aria’s daddy to talk. Roma has a nice jheri curl. She drops a bomb that one of the “girls” is coming into the station tomorrow to spill her guts. Bet it’s Alison, beating the Liars to the punch. Aria, Spencer, and Emily discuss their next move – how are they going to intervene to stop Alison from being a biatch? Aha! Ezra supplied Emily with a security cam pic he found of Alison and Cyrus hanging out at an ATM that proves Alison knew Cyrus and was never kidnapped. Oh and Spencer shows Aria and Emily Melissa’s video and explains her theory that somebody (Alison?) planned all along for Bethany to be there in her backyard that night – maybe Alison was manipulating the girls all along. Maybe Alison is A! Naw probably not but it is a fun idea. Finale next week!