You may have noticed that I haven’t been posting as much in the past couple weeks. I don’t know what exactly is going on with me because I rarely, if ever, miss multiple days of posts. Granted we had a holiday so if I were to take a vacation from blogging, now is the time. But this hasn’t been an intentional break from blogging. I hit a wall.
And yet, this year has been my most successful year blogging yet. I’m getting more opportunities than ever to work with brands and partners, grow my readership, and do cool stuff but my site continues to have problems. I should be happy but my traffic is down and I feel like I’m treading water with social media. This all adds up to a whole lot of feeling blah. For every step forward, I seem to take two steps back.
It doesn’t help that I’m often broke and that I’m stressed about being stressed. I’m pursuing my dreams, am I allowed to complain? Most people don’t get this chance. So I struggle with feeling guilty for not feeling happier about my lucky situation but honestly I am overwhelmed/scared/stuck/confused/down about life right now. I just don’t know where to take Style and Cheek at this point and I’m scared that my determination to make this blog life work is waning. I’m scared that this chugging little-engine-that-could is going to break the fuck down.
But it’s not all doom and gloom. Things are changing on the blog, which is scary but also exciting. Jamie and I are no longer continuing our ‘How She’d Wear It‘ and ‘Beauty Basics‘ collaboration. I know, I know. It is an end of an era! We’re both sad but at the same time it felt necessary. My heart was no longer in the ‘How She’d Wear It’ posts and I knew it was time to stop. I’m more sad about losing Jamie as my beauty contributor. It’s been a joy working with Jamie. Her knowledge is priceless and I love her beauty posts. But we’re embarking on a new collaboration that we’re really excited about! We haven’t confirmed the details but I’m happy that we’re continuing our collaboration in a new way.
So yeah, I’m excited about future collaborations and opportunities but I’m still somehow in a slump and don’t know what to do about it. Everything is up in the air. I need direction. I need small goals. I need help. But mostly I need to realize that this is par for the course when you’re your own boss. It sucks being out there on my own when the future is so murky. It feels a lot like failure, which is absolutely terrifying.
How do I fix my mostly irrational mood, and come back around to feeling positive about the blog? Dan says I need patience, that all this is part of being your own boss and running your own business, and that eventually I will figure out what I want. All I have to do is not give up just because it sucks right now. I’m not sure I buy that it is that simple (Dan and I are very different when it comes to dealing with stress) but I’m definitely not giving up. Not giving up though, doesn’t improve my mood. So in the mean time, while I churn through this blah and hopefully come out guns-blazing on the other side, I’m going to rely on my creature comforts to pick me up. Food, hanging out with friends, and as much Girl Meets World as a human being can handle.
stock images via: Annie Spratt | Unsplash
